In other posts I have mentioned the concept of attachment. This increasingly popular term from psychology of development can be defined as the lifelong biologically based need to be close to others. Recent research has shown this process to be vitally important in healthy brain development, in the ability to regulate intense emotions and in social skills acquisition. Accessing both the brain and the body, attachment is the means by which infants and toddlers connect and communicate with their primary care-givers or parents. For this reason, it is the fundamental reality for infants to be dependent or attached to the person(s) that cares for them. Attachment is also a vehicle for the child in getting it’s needs met. These needs are associated with unique developmental stages and include felt safety and emotional soothing from parents, confidence that their needs are valid and they will be addressed, support and empowerment in acting independently, consistent attention and unconditional love/ support and acceptance.

“Good enough” parenting (consistent meeting of basic needs) leads to healthy self-concept and effectiveness in managing emotions and getting needs met. “Not good enough” parenting results in needs not getting met and increased distress for the child. The child compensates for this by finding other ways to get needs met or manage the emotional stress. The long-term impact from this includes difficulty managing emotions, low self-esteem, limiting or negative beliefs about self and the world and problems in relationships. Since there are no perfect parents, we all have attachment issues to some degree.

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy provides a means to address attachment issues in adults. It uses present moment awareness (through mindfulness) to “study” old patterns of maladaptive reaction to outside triggers. These patterns of reaction to triggers result from our past attempts in childhood to get our needs met. Though they no longer suit our present, adult needs, these patterns or templates have become automatic in our lives. By processing through this phenomena in a controlled, safe and mindful manner, we can gain freedom from their “automatic-ness” and experience transformation. This then provides a new, more empowering experience that can provide future alternate options for “acting” rather than just reacting to triggers.

Stress/ Mood Tip

I have two tips for improving mood, one relatively well known and the other more obscure. Most people have heard that smiling more lifts one’s spirits. I have read on numerous occasions about how research supports this. It’s a bit like “fake it till you make it” but there does seem to be something about smiling that triggers “happy receptors” in the brain (not a scientific term!). On the more unusual side, I have also read about research that suggests looking at baby animals (and humans) increases mood. They theorize that it may stimulate some protective or maternal/ paternal instinct within us. I have tried this and though it does seem to work, I just think videos of puppies and kittens playing are just so darn cute that I just can’t help doing it!

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Wishing you peace and happiness!